Family Ostracism in Christianity and Counseling

Document Type

Article

Publication Date

Spring 2015

Abstract

The article presents the issues of Family ostracism in Christianity and counseling. Oftentimes, families who ascribe to a Christian way of life similarly adopt this type of ostracism as a way to cope with unacceptable behavior rather than engage in confrontation. In effect, the action of ostracism results in the rejection of the person as a visible entity, with no opportunity for interaction between that individual and the rest of the family unit. Analysis of the practice of family ostracism as it intersects with Christian teachings and the practice of ethical counseling underscores the importance of eliminating the imposition of counselor values and assisting the client in obtaining an identity as a valued social being. In contrast to church standards for shunning and excommunication, family ostracism often begins with the intention of producing short term estrangement that inevitably becomes a prolonged situation that is more difficult to break over time. There is a paucity of Christian research that specifically addresses the topic of family ostracism yet the intersection of faith and behavioral health management has brought several articles to fruition. Another suggestion would be to consider ways for the client to begin communication with the estranged family member. Virtual engagement at this level may involve preliminary contact through re-framing of sadness or anger using the Gestalt “empty chair” technique or customized guided imagery and metaphor that could engage the client in future possibilities of family interaction.

An Excerpt:

In the blockbuster movie, Avatar (Landau & Cameron, 2009), a pivotal scene occurs between native Neytiri and her love interest, Jake, when she says "I see you" while embracing him in his human form for the first time. This moment is important because the audience understands this recognition of Jake not only as a member of her alien Na'vi tribe but also as an individual with whom she has a deep, meaningful connection. In her tribe, unsanctioned actions led to the turning away, or shunning, of the individual who no longer exists as a viable member and Neytiri's words represent the love and acceptance that indicates reconciliation and a return to "family" status.

Oftentimes, families who ascribe to a Christian way of life similarly adopt this type of ostracism as a way to cope with unacceptable behavior rather than engage in confrontation. In effect, the action of ostracism results in the rejection of the person as a visible entity, with no opportunity for interaction between that individual and the rest of the family unit. Analysis of the practice of family ostracism as it intersects with Christian teachings and the practice of ethical counseling underscores the importance of eliminating the imposition of counselor values and assisting the client in obtaining an identity as a valued social being.

Christian Community Shunning

Some Christian communities have used shunning as a way to control membership and adhere to biblical teachings. Amish (Clark, 2013), Evangelical (White, 2012), Mormon (Ludlow, 2001), Protestant (Hileman, 2008), and Jehovah's Witness (JW.org, 2014) communities understand shunning, or disfellowship, as an action distinct from excommunication which represents two different levels of ostracism. In effect, the first level of shunning has been used by these communities to promote shame intended to bring about the return of the offending member to the community. For example, many Amish communities implement Meidung, or shunning, that would not be expected to continue beyond six weeks (Miller, 2007). At that time, this "ritual of shaming" would involve mediation by a minister to provide the offending member with the opportunity to demonstrate humility and "return to good standing" (p. 488).

The second level of excommunication has traditionally involved the complete rejection, or pseudo "death", of the individual as a member of that community with little or no possibility of return to the fold as a visible entity. For the Amish, excommunication represents the end of all interaction between the church and that member who has refused efforts to conform to the community rules (Clark, 2013). It is important to note that the distinction between shunning, or disfellowship, and excommunication has been clearly defined in Christian communities that use them. Rules for family ostracism, referred to frequently as shunning, tend to be less structured with elements related to individual interpretations of the Bible, family traditions, and personal views about what it means to be a Christian.

Christian Family Ostracism

In contrast to church standards for shunning and excommunication, family ostracism often begins with the intention of producing shortterm estrangement that inevitably becomes a prolonged situation that is more difficult to break over time (Fitness, 2005). The shunned member may or may not have full knowledge of what the estrangement is about or understand exactly what the perceived infraction was due to the lack of structured conflict resolution processes and procedures. Some behaviors linked with family ostracism have included: inter-racial marriages (Wightman, 2013), interfaith marriages (Scinico, 2013), substance use (Fitness, 2005), sexual orientation (Etengoff & Daiute, 2014), HIV or AIDS status (Kang, Chin, & Behar, 2011), divorce (City-Data.com, 2012), and other actions that represent a violation of family mores or traditions (Fitness, 2005). These decisions and life style patterns may, or may not, be readily understood as the source of the shunning that the family has interpreted as a direct affront to predetermined sensibilities. …

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Originally published as:

McGinnis, C. Z. A. (2015). Family ostracism in Christianity and counseling. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 34(1), 79–83.

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